Originally published via Armageddon Prose:
You won’t hear about it on MSNBC, but Eric Swalwell (alternatively pronounced “Swallows-Well”), a California Democrat in the occupied People’s House, had a sex affair with a Chinese Communist Party spy named Fang-Fang, for which he lost his seat on the House Intelligence Committee.
Swallows-Well is infamously touchy about his Chinese lover, as evidenced by his tantrum during a recent Congressional hearing when an opposition member raised the issue of his affair with Fang-Fang, whose name he hilariously changed to “Yum-Yum.”
Anyway, Alex Stein #99 recently caught up with Swallows-Well on the streets of DC, and it was wonderfully awkward.
What happened with the Chinese spy you dated @ericswalwell?
— Alex Stein #99 (@alexstein99) May 1, 2023
“Did [Fang-Fang] give you anal? People are saying that she gave you an insertion,” Stein pressed Swallows-Well.
Ben Bartee is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
Join Armageddon Prose via Substack or Locals if you are inclined to support independent journalism free of corporate slant. Also, follow Armageddon Prose at Gab and Twitter for the latest content.
Insta-tip jar and Bitcoin public address: bc1qvq4hgnx3eu09e0m2kk5uanxnm8ljfmpefwhawv
