Originally published via Armageddon Prose:
What’s a girl to do in the unfortunate scenario in which she finds herself down in the polls mere weeks before election night?
When, as a Congressional candidate, you’re up against a wall in October, any political consultant worth his/her/zher salt will offer the same sage, time-tested advice:
Progressives love a good “survivor” story.
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Here Democrat Congressional candidate Bernadette Greene-Placentia was on a midsummer’s eve even last August, minding her own business, partaking of Democracy™, out fixing campaign signs at 2 a.m., as one does, when a pair of MAGA Deplorables snuck up from behind, knocked her out, and then raped her right there on the pavement while yelling “Democratic b***h” in her ear.
Unfortunately, several problems, which seem to recur with nearly all of these pop rape stories that make their way to the media, present themselves.
Believable rape survivor Bernadette:
· Has no earthly idea where her rape occurred
· Has no description to offer of her rapists beyond “black boots and small feet”
· Didn’t go to police until two weeks post facto
· Didn’t tell anyone in media until last week even though she’s running for major office and believes the motivation for the midsummer eve’s rape was political in nature — fresh on the heels of the Cornell 7 rape hoax hysteria
· Didn’t take any pictures of the alleged injuries she suffered
· Didn’t go to the hospital despite having been knocked unconscious
· “Took multiple showers and washed the clothes she was wearing” immediately afterwards, thereby destroying any forensic evidence
· Doesn’t sound like a rape victim at all to anyone with an objective ear. On the contrary, she comes off like a fruitcake who’s been consuming too many TikTok reels from fake rape survivors and their advocates, who is enjoying very much the limelight her rape tale has afforded her
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Via ABC7:
“ An Arizona congressional candidate says she was knocked unconscious and sexually assaulted this summer while she was repairing campaign signs overnight.
Bernadette Greene-Placentia told investigators that two men raped her, and she kicked her feet up at one point to try to fight back. She said she felt the weight of one of her attackers on her body and had bruises on her arms from being held down, a bump on her head and other injuries, according to police reports.
“I knew that I had been knocked out,” Greene-Placentia told The Associated Press on Wednesday…
Greene-Placentia said she could not recall many details of the Aug. 14 assault, including the exact location or a description of the men, though she said one wore black boots and had small feet. She told investigators one of the men used an expletive to describe her, and she believes he referenced her political party…
Greene-Placentia said she wishes she had called police immediately and gone to the hospital. After the attack she took multiple showers and washed the clothes she was wearing, police reports state.”
Juicy Smollett Redux:
Arizona Democrat Congressional Bernadette Greene-Placentia was out fixing campaign signs AT 2 AM when MAGA bigots r*ped her, called her a “Democratic b*tch” https://t.co/uQtyUJJ9by— Armageddon Prose (@ArmageddonProse) October 16, 2026
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For the record, the whole “midnight attack by MAGA thugs with no witnesses or corroborating evidence” angle appears eerily similar to the imaginary January 2019 hate crime Juicy Smollett was forced to endure (in his mind) when phantom domestic terrorists accosted him at midnight on the freezing streets of downtown Chicago and screamed “This is MAGA country!” while they beat him, ultimately hanging a noose around his neck that Juicy was conveniently still wearing for dramatic effect when the cops showed up to take the report.
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Benjamin Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile (now available in paperback), is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
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